The Day When Crap Happened
by HamClover
Summary: When a load of crap happens, Hamtaro and co. feel that this is going to be one cruddy day, until they defeat the infamous corporate evil. Then the day is good! RR!
1. Crap for the masses

4/13/04  
  
Wow...I haven't written in a LONG time! blinks I'm such a little dolt! Anyways, to make this quick, I got SBC Yahoo and my computer is finally fast. (what a miracle this has been) So a lot'o stuff happened during these freaky weeks. First, we got a Dish, then DSL, and my old friend decided to be a total beep and she got in trouble. Then, on the first Saturday of April I celebrated my 14th b-day by going to see a movie (Hidalgo) and then just sitting around the house. Fun. Then of course Easter and today I am acting totally weird (if you haven't noticed =.=) by not being hyper and perky, but I just returned from a sleepover where I drank a large amount of coffee for the first time and since I cannot handle my caffeine well, I stayed up well past 4:30 watching movies like Brother Bear and National Lampoon's Vacation. ("Clark! There's a wild animal!" Funny, funny) ugh...I'm tired. I just got into yet another fight with my brother and I felt like writing to vent my anger. (Hey, it beats shouting "SHUT UP!" to him,) So I am creating this story off the top of my head. I haven't written in EONS so it'll prolly be crap but oh well, life goes on.....BLASPHEMY! (I love that word...) Oh yeah, here's my new e-mail...don't use my old one- mycloversbcglobal.net  
  
The Day When Crap Happened (A rather pointless story)  
  
By HamClover (cause she had nothin' better to do..ha ha) :P  
  
"Laura!" Mrs. Haruna scoffed. Laura rolled over and slowly opened her eyes.  
  
"Honestly! Look at the time! You'll be late for the field trip!"  
  
It was 7:46  
  
"OH MY GOSH!" Laura shrieked as she leapt out of her bead and in one step was in front on the dresser grabbing random articles of clothing.  
  
"Don't press the snooze button, sweetie," Marian scolded.  
  
"But Mom!" Laura whined. "I didn't press the snooze button!"  
  
Mrs. Haruna rolled her eyes. Gesturing towards Hamtaro's cage, she said, "What? Are you thinking he pressed the button!?"  
  
"...maybe. He is smart."  
  
Laura's mother just let out a sigh. "Just hurry up, I'll drive you in."  
  
"Okay,"  
  
After getting dressed, Laura turned to Hamtaro.  
  
"I have a field trip today. We're going somewhere stupid." Laura stated.  
  
Hamtaro paused from eating an alfalfa pellet. "Heke..?" He asked.  
  
As Laura grabbed her book bag and headed for the door, she laughed.  
  
"Of course you don't know what a field trip is. You're a hamster," She paused, "Did... you, press the snooze button??"  
  
Hamtaro sat silently.  
  
Laura walked out. "Didn't think so,"  
  
Ha...that was a short chapter. Okay, how bout' we make this story a little interesting! I won't plan anything for this story. The only time ideas will pop up will be when I am typing the story, so this stuff is...um....fresh...I guess. Oh well, tomorrow if I continue this story, I'll be a lot more like myself cause' I slept! Bye-Q! (Ha. I'm listening to the Spanish Hamtaro opening theme right now. It sounds like the English...but in Spanish...freaky...) 


	2. More Crappy Crap

5/6/04  
  
Wai! I'm so lazy! I haven't even published the first chapter and I'm writing the 2nd one already! shrugs Oh well, something's buggin' me again. Last Sunday I checked the guide to see which episode of Hamtaro was to be on, but my heart skipped a beat when it wasn't in its' normal time slot! Eep! (Evil Powerpuff Girls took the 3:00 time slot, and I loathe them for that) Today I checked the guide on stooopid Cartoonnetwork.com's thingy but...there wasn't anything. This isn't good. BUT, all the fansites haven't been crying about anything. And, I checked the main English site and the only important thing it said was that Rainbow Rescues is due to come out SOMETIME soon! Ugh. I swear, if Hamtaro's been cancelled...I have no clue what I'll do...I'll prolly turn into the Hulk and wreak havoc on the CN HQ...and then they'll sue me.....dammit sometimes people can be such bastards!!!!!!!!! throws something across room to let off anger  
  
The Day When Crap Happened Part TWO!!!!  
  
Laura, Kana, Kylie, June, and Kari were all chatting excitedly about the field trip.  
  
"Oh this sounds like so much fun!" Kylie squealed, "We get to go to the zoo! I wanna' see the giraffes!"  
  
"Yeah! But I really am looking forward to seeing those cute little penguins!" Kana chimed in.  
  
"No way! The prairie dogs rule!!!" Kari shouted.  
  
"I am really wanting to see the zebras! What about you Laura?" June asked.  
  
Laura wasn't paying attention. She was too busy staring at Travis, who was currently tolerating Roberto.  
  
"It was your fault we lost the game last weekend!" Roberto scoffed.  
  
Travis didn't answer, attempting to avoid argument. Laura giggled at the scene.  
  
"Laura!"  
  
"Oh...what?"  
  
"Well? Tell us what animal you wanna see at the zoo."  
  
Laura blinked. "Oh! Well...I guess the seals...."  
  
(Clover- Dang, this story is sounding really lame, I'll trying to make it more interesting, many apologies...)  
  
5...4...3...2...1...  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
The ham-hams were in yet another mess. This time, they were being chased by one of those teenage mutant ninja chickens. (Clover- LOL! I couldn't help myself...)  
  
"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!" Oxnard whined.  
  
"What is it Oxy?" Hamtaro asked, as if not realizing they were running for their lives.  
  
"I dropped my sunflower seed again!"  
  
"Oxy!"  
  
BONK  
  
Oxnard tripped on a rock. Hamtaro skidded to a stop, almost slipping, because it had began to rain, POUR RAIN.  
  
"Ouchichi! That hurt my foot!"  
  
The chickens were coming.  
  
"Oxy! Hurry! Get up! Get up!"  
  
Oxnard scrambled to his feet rather quickly, but it was too late, because the chickens were staring right over them.  
  
"AHHH!!!"  
  
The chickens walked away. Hamtaro and Oxnard blinked.  
  
"We're...not dead..." Hamtaro whispered. He looked around him. Everyone but Oxnard had disappeared.  
  
"Hamtaro! Everyone is gone!" Oxnard shouted, getting up and miraculously finding is absent sunflower seed. He hugged it quickly.  
  
Hamtaro brushed the mud off his fur.  
  
"C'mon, we hafta' find everyone..." He said, walking away. Oxnard followed reluctantly.  
  
Ugh...I have no writing talent today. Let's see, a brief overview of this chapter- Laura daydreams and the hamsters get chased by rapid chickens that just walk away. Fun. I need inspiration!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh yeah...that reminds me....if you have noticed, I haven't been writing fics with characters like Stucky and Hannah in it. Hahahaha. Well, I've never seen those eps. #%#! CN changed the times around when those eps came out. So, I only have seen pictures of them. It really annoys me that I've never seen the ep with Hannah in it because I spazzed out so much when I found out there was gonna be a ham-ham that had the same name as me and I nearly jumped out my bedroom window when I missed the episode! Jeez. Okay, well I'll finish this crappy fic quickly and then write a GOOD fic. Toodloo!!  
  
HamClover (Who vows to avenge Cartoon Network) 


	3. Crap With A Cherry On Top

5/8/04  
  
Gah! I'm actually SICK today! Ugh! I never get sick! And I'm sick on a SATURDAY! Stuck in the house with my Dad painting and a bird squaking it's head off isn't an ideal enviroment for somebody who feels like they're head's gonna explode. And, I'm bored out of my mind. I wearing PJ shorts and a hoodie. I haven't had lunch yet but I did have Rice Krispies for breakfast. And I'm too sick to draw and all I've been doing right now is moping around and watching TV. Oh, many apologies if some words are misspelled, because I think my brain ran away.....  
  
The Day when Crap happened the third part! cough cough cough  
  
"How...are...we gonna....find our...way home!?" Oxnard sighed. (Clover- They randomly get lost....)  
  
Hamtaro squinted at the sky, which was still spewing rain. "Uhhhmmm....."  
  
"Yeah...?"  
  
"-mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.........."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"-mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm................."  
  
"YEAH?!!"  
  
"-mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm............................I dunno...."  
  
(Clover- ???? -.0 cough cough cough)  
  
Oxnard didn't answer, but joined his friend in staring at the sky.  
  
As for the humans, thing weren't going very well either. The class was being poured on, and they all had to run for shelter.  
  
Oh yeah and it was starting to flood.  
  
"Oh no!" Kana shrieked. "This isn't good!"  
  
"Yeah..." Laura muttered, wringing out her jacket. "I hope it isn't raing back home."  
  
"Me too...."  
  
Mr. Yoshi was trying to settle some of the students down, on account that water was up to their ankles.  
  
"It's okay everybody! Just, don't panic!"  
  
Oh yeah, like that worked.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"WE'RE ALL GONNA DROWN! IN THE ZOOOOOOO!!"  
  
"LOOKIT ALL THE ANIMALS! OH NOOOOOOOO!"  
  
"MOMMY!"  
  
"I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!"  
  
"WAAAAAHHH!"  
  
(Clover- Hahahaha...that's so cliché cough)  
  
Mr. Yoshi sighed. He turned to Laura.  
  
"Laura," He said.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Can you make sure nobody dies or drowns for me while I go get help?"  
  
"Uh... sure, okay."  
  
"Thanks." Mr. Yoshi left, but the kids still screamed.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"  
  
coughcoughcoughcoughcoughcoughcoughcoughcoughcoughcoughcoughcough  
  
Clover- Ugggghhh, I'm sorry but just typing people screaming is giving me a headache...I needa rest...sorry, I'll update later......................................woah....Richard Simmons is on Kablam... oh..............my.....................gosh...................................faints  
  
(A random person steps over Clover and takes her place as crazy author who talks too much)  
  
Random Person- Hello. I am a random person, or just call me R.P. Since this girl here seems dead, I'll take her place writing this.....story.....and until she gets better, I'll be writing the story and updating. No, I won't say "tootles" .....that's so immature.......  
  
How bout' this- Goodbye fellow readers, and may your lives be filled with happiness......  
  
Random Person 


	4. Soggy Crap

5/10/04  
  
Hello, it's me, Clover, not that random loser freak who decided to take over and then after begged for some sort of pay...a-hem. Well, I'm feeling slightly better, I guess. I had a tummy-ache at school for a while but I'm not dead so that's a start! Woo! I did some "spying" at a Totally Spies chat forum. (Yes, I like that show.) They were talking about how some people hate the show because they think it's an "anime wannabe" Here was my response- ...it is? Personally, I think it's a pretty darn good show. The animators have gotten drawing girls pretty much down pat perfectly and the animation is very nice. Yes, they use some anime-like actions, but that doesn't make it a wannabe. I'm guessing the creators were inspired by anime, not wanting to be it. This goes for Teen Titans, too. Great show, and NOT an anime wannabe! Just felt like babbling, because I'm good at that! WOOOO!!!  
  
The Day When Crap Happened part 4! DUN DUN DUN!!!  
  
"Oh no we're gonna die!!!!!!!!!!" A kid shrieked. Laura paced over to her classmate and softly said,  
  
"Oh it's OK, it's OK. Mr. Yoshi went to go get help. Don't worry."  
  
The kid stared at Laura blankly for a moment and said, "OK"  
  
(Clover- EEP! I just heard thunder! I might get kicked off the computer for this...I'll save my work....saves)  
  
Laura smiled and stepped over to where Kana, Travis, and Roberto were standing, staring silently at the water, which was, slowly, very slowly, rising. Kana noticed Laura first.  
  
"Oh Laura. Do you know if there's any higher ground than this?" She asked.  
  
"Yeah.... And quick," Travis added solemnly.  
  
Laura nodded and with a rather clam expression, carefully stepped out of the shelter and scanned the area. It didn't look good. Animals were panicking, too. They all looked upset. The only high ground she could see was in the lion's enclosure, and of course they weren't about to go hide there. That's when Kylie, June, and Kari walked over.  
  
"Laura!" Kari shouted, being her normal, happy-go-lucky self, "You're going to get soaked out there! Step in here!" Everybody else nodded, not taking their eyes off the rising tide. Laura quickly came in, as soon as a bolt of lightning zapped down on the earth.  
  
As for Hamtaro and Oxnard, they weren't having much luck either.  
  
They found shelter under a park bench, but the water was rising fast there, too, and it was worse for them, obviously. Hamsters are much shorter and cannot swim.  
  
(Clover- Woop, the news just interrupted my sister's show, saying there's a bad storm warning, so I best get off so this compy here don't spontaneously combusts! OK, so this chappy is cut short! Gotta go! Ohhh...I hope it don't flood like in my story!! Bye!!) 


	5. Crap With A mullet

5/17/04  
  
Woooo.....it's really storming outside right now! Haaa! Well I'm home alone right now listening to Dance Dance Revolution songs REALLY loud so who gives the crap!? Not me! Okay, well last night I got the brilliant ending for this story! It's real funny and I hope it gives you those warm little fuzzies in you....awwwww! So kawaii! Oh, and enjoy the climatic ending of this epic story!!! Note to self- Go online and print out English translation of Minihamzu no ai no uta! Love ya! (Aheheheh........ o.-)  
  
The Day When Crap Happened THE FINALE!  
  
"Oh no oh no! The water's rising really fast!" Kylie whined.  
  
Laura and Travis looked at the impending doom.  
  
"....this isn't good...."  
  
Meanwhile...with Hamtaro and Oxnard......  
  
Both slowly opened their eyes, and noticed they were in a strange, and dry, new place.  
  
"Ughn...Hamtaro, where are we now?" Oxnard moaned, half asleep. Hamtaro sat up and hiffed around the premises.  
  
"Uhhh....I don't know Oxy...but I smell a strange sort of smell...the smell of EVIL." He coughed.  
  
Oxnard blinked. "Oh great,"  
  
"Oh hello!" A voice shouted from behind them. Abruptly, the pair turned around to see their lovely friend Harmony.  
  
"Oh! Hamha Harmony!" Hamtaro said, glad to see a familiar face. Oxnard just waved.  
  
Harmony's smile turned to a frown as she stared at the cold, dark building in front of her. The 3 ham-hams were sitting in an empty parking lot.  
  
"Hamtaro, Oxnard! They need your help!" She shouted.  
  
"Heke?"  
  
"Your friends! The ham-hams! They've been ham-napped by...by...THEM!"  
  
"What!? Who!? WHO!?"  
  
"..........just to let you know, the word sends chills down the spines of many...."  
  
"C'mon! We have to save our friends! Hurry! Tell us!"  
  
"................Cartoon Network....."  
  
"AUHHUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Oh it burns! It BURNS!!!!"  
  
Harmony sniffed. "I told you so, tee hee!"  
  
After Hamtaro and Oxnard were done with their spasms of pain, they stood up with their game faces on.  
  
"Cartoon Network is the evil organization set on taking over the world, in disguise as a corny TV station dedicated to crappy cartoons and good anime, which they hate but put it on for the money. Cartoon Network kidnaps many anime stars and just....well...kidnaps them."  
  
"Well that's stupid..."  
  
"Yeah, well no employees went to college. Okay, well you must find their evil leader. If you defeat their leader, then you can save your friends and maybe even more anime characters!"  
  
"....we're anime characters...?"  
  
"Oh never mind just go save your friends! Bye-Q! Tee hee!" With that, Harmony took off, rather quickly, too.  
  
Hamtaro began walking towards the dark towering building. Reluctantly, Oxnard followed.  
  
When they got in, the place smelled like CRAP. And plus, it looked like a torture chamber. And there was a whole lot of pictures of characters such as Scooby Doo and the Powerpuff Girls. Cartoon Network loves them. Finally, Oxnard and Hamtaro got to a lonely door. Something was written on it, but they had to squint to read it-  
  
ASSE WHOLE  
Cartoon Network CEO  
knock first idiots!  
  
Hamtaro and Oxnard couldn't help but laugh their eyes out.  
  
After they had a good laugh and got their serious faces on, they slowly opened the door...and sitting in the desk chair was.......a man in a tux and a mullet.  
  
"Ah....I've been expecting you, Hamtaro and Oxnard....I am Asse Whole, the president of this wonderful company...."  
  
Oxnard pointed at his hair. "But you have a mullet. Someone of impending doom should wear some more serious and scarier hair..."  
  
"SILENCE!"  
  
Oxnard coughed.  
  
Asse Whole stepped out of his chair and paced around like a typical cliché super villain planning something evil.  
  
"Ah...I suppose you are looking for your friends, eh?"  
  
"Duh..."  
  
"Well, I have submitted to such horrible torture, they will never be able to watch TV again!"  
  
Oxnard and Hamtaro stared at each other. "But, we really don't watch TV..."  
  
"SILENCE FOOLS!" Grabbing a nearby super villain's remote, he pressed the only big red button on it and a wall raised up. Every single hamster Hamtaro and Oxnard has met were tied up in chairs and their eyes duct taped open. In front of them was a giant plasma screen. What was playing on the screen was the bad part. It was the horribly corny Gundam spoof, Megas XLR!  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! ASSE WHOLE! STOP THIS TORTURE TO MY FRIENDS!" Hamtaro shouted.  
  
Asse Whole blinked. "Did...you just call me an ass hole?"  
  
"NO! YOUR NAME IDIOT!"  
  
"...oh."  
  
Oxnard covered his eyes from the horrible show and screamed, "Oh no! Everyone's in there! We have to save them!" Hamtaro turned to him. "But how can we? What is Asse's weakness?" he asked.  
  
That's when he got an idea.  
  
"Oxnard! Give me your cell phone!"  
  
"Uh? Oh okay." (Oxy has a cell phone......) Oxnard handed his cell phone to Hamtaro. ",here"  
  
Asse Whole stared at Hamtaro made his call. When he was done, there was a big grin on his face. Oxnard did the same to look like he knew what he was doing.  
  
"What...is it?" The president asked unhappily.  
  
They didn't answer.  
  
All of the sudden, the wall broke through! And when the debris settled, a man in a bright orange shirt stood before Cartoon Network's pres, with a machine gun.  
  
"Hello. I am Mr. Gud Guy, an intern from your worst nightmare, Nickelodeon!" He said.  
  
Asse Whole's eyes bulged out. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He screamed in terror, "NOT NICK! ANYTHING BUT NICK!!"  
  
Mr. Gud Guy grinned. "Nope, it's me!"  
  
BANG  
  
The whole building collapsed and everyone but Cartoon Network's employees escaped without a scratch. Asse Whole was gone forever.  
  
But everyone celebrated. They had overcome the corporate evil and saved the day. The ham-hams cheered for Oxnard and Hamtaro.  
  
"Yay! Oh Oxy that was so cool!" Pepper called, giving Oxnard a big hug. He blushed.  
  
Hamtaro stood next to Boss an Bijou, holding a piece of the CEO's name plaque.  
  
"Oh you were the best! How did you manage to beat such an evil? It was you, yes?" Bijou asked.  
  
He smiled. "Yeah, I guess it was me..."  
  
A sudden scream of terror distracted the hamsters. It was Shobu, from Duelmasters.  
  
"AGHHHHHHHHHHHHH! The Megas XLR!!!!!! EVIL!!!!!!!" He screamed. Then he fell on the floor, it was too much for him. (Ugh, I hate Duelmasters...sorry,)  
  
Everyone just turned back to their talking. Who cares? The evil is gone.  
  
Hamtaro looked at the sky. "Now we take over the FoxBox!" He shouted.  
  
Meanwhile......  
  
Everyone in the zoo was about to drown, when the sky suddenly cleared and the water disappeared. So no body died. And the humans and hamsters were okay and everyone was happy because they got rid of yet another jerk with a mullet. They lived happily ever after.  
  
THE CRAP HAS ENDED! THE END!  
  
Lol! I love the ending! I hope you do too!!!!! Bye-bye! An until next time, tootles!  
  
Love HamClover  
  
PS-  
  
Required listening  
  
SmiLE.dk you have to listen to SmiLE.dk! She was the BEST music! You can go to www.akddr.com to listen to some of her music, like Butterfly and Petit Love.  
  
Cotton Eye Joe! Where did she come from, where did she go? Blah blah blah, I like the dance remix, it rocks!!! It's by the Rednex. 


End file.
